Decide It's Your Turn

Christina Lecuyer:
But you also then have to implement these changes. You have to implement a decision, you have to implement some faith. You have to implement taking a small action every single day, whether that was you reading that book for school for 15 seconds a day. Whether that’s a gratitude practice, whether that’s making sure that you jump on the StairMaster every day. Whatever the hell it is, you’re not going to decision and faith losing 15 pounds. Or getting the business, or playing in the event, or Dancing with the stars. You’ve got to have a combo of the three.

Joe:
How often does this happen to you? You’re listening to Great Speaker a podcast, and the person talking is saying everything to get you fired up. You start to feel chills and get a rush of energy as you say to yourself, “Today’s the day.” Only for the podcast episode to end or keynote to finish in the fire you had and the motivation burns out with it. You start negative self-talk thinking you’re lacking in certain areas of your life, and you don’t know where to start. First, shut down yourself doubt. Second, you got this. And third, you need to listen to my guest. Christina Lecuyer, X pro golfer and confidence coach. She’s going to help you by keeping it simple so you can get started today. Christina and I talk about her career as a professional golfer and how she was able to make it to become a pro.

Joe:
We also discuss her time on the reality golf show, The Big Break, where she shares an incredible story about how they had originally type-casted her but she quickly flipped the script on them. And amongst other things, we dive into the secret to self-confidence, which is something simple yet remarkable. And I can’t forget to mention event GO. We have a limited amount of tickets and I don’t want you to miss out. I’m confident this will be a day that will light a fire for you to finish your year strong. Our event will be taking place in the Chicago land area, featuring Rich Roll, Jordan Burroughs, Cedric King and more. These speakers are top athletes, incredible humans, and have an amazing mindset and life story to share with you. You can find out more at notalmostthere.com/go and use the discount code NAT2021 for 10% off. So get your ticket, get your shoes on, get outside and listen to my conversation with Christina. And oh yeah, feel free to talk out loud along with us. Hey Christina, how are you today?

Christina Lecuyer:
Hi, I am good. How are you?

Joe:
Good, good. Hey, when I was doing research for the show, there was something that we have in common that I have to bring up because I’m just so interested because my experience was so unique and that is Dancing with the Stars. Tell me about that experience and how that went for you?

Christina Lecuyer:
I love it. There were so many things you could have said right there. I was so interested-

Joe:
I know.

Christina Lecuyer:
[crosstalk 00:02:51]. So I was like, oh, where’s he going with this? What do we have in common. Dancing with the Stars, I wasn’t going to say that that was going to be it. But yeah I did a local Dancing with the Stars appearance actually last year during COVID. I signed up before COVID started and then we actually turned it into a bit of a virtual experience instead of there wasn’t a massive crowd. But we practiced in everything in person. It was a lot of fun. We did it for a local charity here in Arkansas. And yeah, I think I ended up finishing third, I think. Since everything was not in-person I know I didn’t win. It was based upon the money raised and then the dancing as well. So we raised a good amount of money. I think I raised close to $30,000 for my team. And then the dancing experience was a lot of fun, but yeah. Where did you do yours?

Joe:
I did mine in the Naperville area and I wanted to dig into the process of that. Did you practice a lot for it?

Christina Lecuyer:
I practiced, we were only allowed to practice a certain amount of times, so we only had 10 sessions because every person was only able to practice the same amount. They didn’t want someone practicing 50 times and one person practicing two.

Joe:
Yeah. Well, I know you’re real competitive and we’ll dive into that, but for mine there wasn’t rules around how much you could practice and they gave you 10 lessons and I took 80. I took 80 lessons.

Christina Lecuyer:
Dude, you must’ve been amazing. Yeah, no, no, I wasn’t that good, I took 10.

Joe:
I’m not a good dancer at all. So I had to overcompensate by putting in the work, but I ended up winning it because I recreated the dirty dancing Patrick Swayze scene and I mixed in some swing dancing and it was this whole routine I’ll have to send it to you. But it was five minutes long. And I was the last one to go. I had the crowd involved at the end, but it was one of those things where I’m if I’m doing it, I’m doing it. And it was a ton of fun. I still don’t know how to dance, but it was something I can look back on and watch that video 10 years from now and be proud of for sure.

Christina Lecuyer:
That is so cool. Could you recreate that video from today?

Joe:
Maybe some of it for sure.

Christina Lecuyer:
How long ago?

Joe:
It was something three years ago I want to say, go ahead. Yeah, it was cool. So definitely when I see people that have done that, because the one thing… You probably have more practice than I do in terms of you playing golf, but when you’re dancing in front of someone, especially a large crowd your body does weird things and you’re not used to it. Because it sounds you just can’t control your voice or a part of your body. I mean, your whole body’s moving. So that was pretty interesting.

Christina Lecuyer:
Yeah. The adrenaline is high. It’s the first tee vibes where you’re just like the adrenaline is rushing. When I used to be on the first tee or whatever it was when in college I was called the intimidator, because I had a ton. I looked I was ice cold on the outside. I was just calm as a cucumber inside. I was absolute mush. And by the time I hit the first drive, they knew I was mush. It would go far right or far left or whatever it is. But yeah, it’s amazing when the adrenaline kicks in, it’s not practicing for sure.

Joe:
So I wanted to dive into a little bit of the golf side and how that parallels into confidence. Because one of the things that I realized, I don’t know why it’s taken me so long to realize the stress of just a golf swing or when you’re playing golf. I was watching the U.S. Open in my house a few weeks ago and it was down to a couple of strokes as it always is. When you were in that position and you are playing and you are literally one stroke away from winning or losing, how do you cope with that? And what have you learned over time that applies to everyday life in terms of that confidence that you need internally to be able to make that under that stress?

Christina Lecuyer:
Oh, I love it. We could go on so many different directions. So first of all, I was never in the U.S. Open. So I have no idea what that stress would be like.

Joe:
Well, something similar. I know you were on a TV show though, so that had to be stressful. And I want to dive into that in a little bit too.

Christina Lecuyer:
Absolutely. 110%. So I totally agree there. I think one of the things that people don’t mention quite often, and I think is really important is being there, being there numerous times, I think that really helps. The more you can put yourself in a situation the more confident you become.

Christina Lecuyer:
I always say, confidence is built oftentimes on doing hard things. The more hard things that you can do, the more confident you are that you will be able to do more hard things. So even your Dancing with the Stars story. You did that, that’s nerve wracking. That’s hard, you’re a little bit scared. So the next time something is proposed to you, you have a better chance of handling the stress a little bit more. But for me on the golf course, nowadays I play golf better now than I probably did when I was grinding it out, practicing six hours a day or whatever it was because I do believe that there’s not as much stress on it now, which is obviously a lot more helpful, but I enjoy it a lot more.

Christina Lecuyer:
And I think that that is if you can get your mindset into the frame of this is a very enjoyable situation. If you’re walking down the fairway and you have a chance to win the U.S. Open, yes, you’re going to be nervous. But also too, I think it’s really, really important to remember that chances are you’ve worked your whole entire life for this opportunity, for this situation. And when you can come back to that and remember that like whoa, millions of millions of people would give anything to be in this position, it takes off a little bit of the stress and you just kind of go, holy cow how blessed am I to be in this situation that 99% of people will never experience in their life.

Christina Lecuyer:
I think that if you can get into that, I believe that gratitude will change your life. But if you can get in that gratitude mindset in that exact moment and train yourself to do it in those high pressure situations, even yourself at Dancing with the Stars, dude that’s so incredible that so many people would want that opportunity. So if you can get into the gratitude, it’ll calm you down and make you realize that, wow, I’m so blessed to be in this situation.

Joe:
Yeah. I know that makes a ton of science, but I have to think about the other side of it. So there’s the one side where you’re practicing. I had the luxury to practice as much as I could pack in a timeframe to be able to compete in that dance competition. When you’re golfing, you kind of have that same ability to practice a ton, right? And often it’s a combination of a lot of factors that are going to get you to the U.S. Open, talent being one of them, practice, work ethic, confidence. But you were featured and you were on the show called The Big Break series and you were faced with challenges. On that series, it was a reality TV show and in those challenges, some of them that you had never faced before.

Joe:
So when you’re facing similar challenges in life, when you haven’t had the luxury to practice what you were about to do, how do you gain confidence or bring out the confidence in something that you haven’t necessarily practiced? Because we’re all faced with things on a day-to-day basis that we need to execute on. And maybe if there’s a fun story around that too, that that wasn’t shown, because I saw a few clips that I want to even dive a little bit deeper into, but I just wanted to-

Christina Lecuyer:
Oh God.

Joe:
… Get your thoughts there.

Christina Lecuyer:
[crosstalk 00:11:08]. Jeez, little wiz, look at you doing your homework. That’s ages ago, decades ago.

Joe:
It’s pretty good TV. It’s good.

Christina Lecuyer:
Oh, it was horrible television. Are you kidding me? No, it was horrible. First thing I’ll reference is that I’m definitely not the same human that I was when I did that 2007 was the first one. My God, that’s like 14 years ago. I’m definitely not the same human being that I was then. And I probably, if I put myself in those situations now I would definitely handle them completely different. But going back to your initial question, which was how do you handle something that you’ve never been faced with before on Big Break. My first season, so I was on three reality shows for golf channel and I was never faced with any of those challenges before. There are definitely random golf challenges, but I think again, you’re putting yourself in a situation where you may have not done that exact challenge before, but you have done something else previous.

Christina Lecuyer:
So the first time that I came to Big Break, I did The Big Break in Hawaii. Well, I had just come off going to my very first LPGA tour of school. So I went from one hard situation to the next hard situation. And so I think I did the first one, I went to the first situation. It wasn’t something that I had done before. I had just graduated college and I was actually one of the blessed people to make it to final stage of LPGA in my very first try. I think that actually part of that, me getting that opportunity was the fact that it was my first time getting that opportunity to ever go to Q school. I think it was actually a really good thing, the fact that I had never been before.

Christina Lecuyer:
So I actually had no expectations of what I should do. I played really well. I went in and I was like, oh, I never expected to actually get through the first stage, let alone second stage, let alone the final stage. I had zero expectations. So I think that’s actually somewhat helpful and even going into Big Break how I actually got on that show was kind of hilarious. I started golf very late in life. Actually the first time I ever touched a club, I was 18 years old. I went to college. I was all American, turned professional right after going to college. And so I didn’t have all of the bad thoughts and I didn’t have all of the experience around knowing what an actual Big Break experience was.

Christina Lecuyer:
My college coach, she’s like, “Oh, you’re in Arizona. You should try out for the show on golf channel called Big Break.” And at the time it had probably done 14 or 15 seasons. And I was like, “Okay, cool.” So I go and try out and hit a few shots, make a few comments, whatever, whatever, never thought anything of it. And sure enough, I get it. And so I do think that that was a blessing too, the fact that I had no idea and I’d really never watched the show. And so when I went to Big Break, when I went to Hawaii, right after tour school I went into it, not really knowing what to expect, but knowing that I always had… I don’t know if every person is born this way, but I’ve always had a deep belief inside myself, way before I had the confidence that I have today is that I was always willing to try.

Christina Lecuyer:
And I think that confidence is a muscle, right? The more you use it, the stronger it becomes. But I’ve always had this knowing deep within inside myself that I was always willing to try something. I’m always willing to fail. I’m always willing to get my butt kicked. I don’t know if we can curse on this podcast or not, but always willing to-

Joe:
Yeah, go for it.

Christina Lecuyer:
Okay, cool. Yeah. If you’ve done any homework on me you know that I curse. But yeah, I’ve always been willing to do that. And so I think for myself, just willing to go to Hawaii and have no idea what I was up against or what it was actually going to look at, but I know for damn sure I was going to be the person who would lose her arm before she’d lost. I think that that’s the grittiness that I think some people have and some people don’t. You can perhaps have it in different ways, but for myself it was I will go out in flames before I want to go out.

Joe:
So on that show, and I know this took place over a decade ago, there was a period in there, a clip that I watched where-

Christina Lecuyer:
I told the girl [inaudible 00:15:38] the choke.

Joe:
Yeah, exactly. [crosstalk 00:15:41]. Do you want to set that up for a second. You got set that up because I can see it because you’re so competitive. It’s obvious. Right. And as a competitor, you want to win. And at that point you had nothing to do except hope that someone else would miss the shot. Can you set that up for a second? Because then I have a follow up.

Christina Lecuyer:
Yeah, absolutely, for sure. So I, again, went into that television show. I was so new in the golf industry. No one knew who I was. I think there was 12 of us, every single one of those girls who had been in the golf scene for awhile. I was the fresh out of college, never played junior golf, never did nothing really. And so I go there and on reality shows something that they don’t tell you that every reality show does, in my opinion, and I believe this is true is that they have a cast. So in their brains, when they’re casting, they’re like, okay, I want the jock. I want the whatever. I want this person.

Joe:
Antagonist.

Christina Lecuyer:
Yeah, the antagonist, whatever it is. They chose me as the dumb blonde. They even said 100%, they were like, “This chick is going to be the ditzy blonde.” They obviously did not do their fricking homework because that was 100% not me. And so when that show kind of got started, they were like, “Oh, damn, we’re going to use this because this girl is competitive as shit. She’s going to rub these girls the wrong way. She’s not the dumb blonde.” And so they kind of flipped the script a little bit. And it’s definitely 100% not scripted in any regard, they can’t. But they put certain situations to cause certain drama. And I 100% said that, I 100% agree. And I do still believe to this day, if I was a dude, it would not have even got on camera. But the fact that at the time look the way that you look and you are on an all girls show, this girl was 100 feet away from me, but we were obviously miked up, it’s reality show.

Christina Lecuyer:
And I had just hit a shot. And I under my breath, but again, I’m on camera. I’m like, “Man, I hope she chokes.” And because I didn’t want to go home, but they caught it on camera. And then they started using it in every trailer. Right. And then they showed the clip that I said I wanted this girl to choke to all the other girls in camp or whatever that night at the hotel. And so all of a sudden I’m just this raging mean bitch, but I’m truly not. I’m just literally the most competitive person ever. And I’ll be honest. I don’t know however many other people would probably not go, “Yeah, I really hope she would choke right now.”

Joe:
Everyone would.

Christina Lecuyer:
You know what I mean? But if I was a dude, it wouldn’t have been shown, but it was obviously since I was a girl and I said I wanted this girl to choke it was on the trailer and it was shown every single week.

Joe:
Yeah. Of course it’s TV and they have to find something like that to use. But it actually brings up my question though, is there a fine line between being confident and then overconfident where you become, or can be perceived as rude or pompous or something that? How do you balance those two lines?

Christina Lecuyer:
100%. I love that you asked the question because do I believe Christina 14 years later would actually say that? Probably not because I understand now that really it’s just a game against myself. At the time I was so concerned about the external validation. I was so concerned about what people were going to think if I got kicked off early and all of the things. I ended up beating the girl. But I now know that I obviously don’t want her to choke, do I want to win? Of course I do. But I love to be the person who stipped it so close and that’s how I won.

Christina Lecuyer:
So perspective in growth is everything. I do think that there is a difference between cockiness and confidence, for sure, 110%. And I definitely do believe I am the type of person who rides the line. In my coaching business now, I actually have a client who has told me that before she hired me, she could not stand me. She’s like, you rubbed me completely the wrong way. And I rub a lot of people the wrong way. I am the first person to say that I definitely have a tendency to rub people the wrong way. Once people get to know me, they truly actually probably love me.

Christina Lecuyer:
But all that to be said, is that I do believe that oftentimes if I rubbed someone wrong in some regard, most times it’s because they want the confidence that I have. I don’t believe I am cocky, but I am very confident in my confidence. And I think most people actually want that.

Christina Lecuyer:
Most people want to have the firm unwavering belief, which I do have. And so I think it can come off and rub people the wrong way. But I think that I have very strong beliefs on why I believe what I believe. And I think that’s actually appealing to a lot of people, because I think most people waiver and that to me creates not as much confidence.

Joe:
Doubt.

Christina Lecuyer:
Doubt yeah. It creates a doubt in someone. When a person is very strong in what they believe and how they believe it, that creates confidence in another person.

Joe:
No, that makes sense. Before we get into more with regards to what someone can do with confidence, I think people also are brought up in different environments, and they’re naturally born with maybe confidence. I don’t think everyone just learns it, right?. I think there’s your genes and there’s your parents and there’s everything that you’ve been taught and how you’ve been brought up as a kid, to help your confidence. But before we get into what people can do, how did you go from being a golf pro to becoming a confidence coach?

Christina Lecuyer:
Yeah, absolutely. Really great question. It’s very organic, to be honest with you. Most people looked at my golf career in my life. I always tell this quick story that I was 18 years old and two things happened to me. One, I got good at golf and two, I got good lucking in the exact same summer. People laugh, but it’s true.

Christina Lecuyer:
And in that exact moment, when I turned 18 and had that external validation, it almost became a drug to me. I was like, damn, this is awesome, so how do I get more of this drug? They’re just like, you’re so great, you’re so pretty, you’re so successful, you’re so this, college scholarships, job opportunities, all the things. My thought process is I get better at golf and I get better looking. For me at the time it was get skinnier.

Christina Lecuyer:
And so for basically like a 10 year period, I was so driven by external motivation, external validation that I was in a very horrible place. I had an eating disorder, I hated myself, I did not like what I was doing, because I was playing golf because I was told, oh, you play golf, you’ll be happy. You play golf, your life will be amazing. You look a certain way, you’re going to get XYZ job, be hanging around with these people and make all this money.

Christina Lecuyer:
Well, when I was about 27 years old, I had got to the place that enough is enough. And I was at my rock bottom. And that’s when I dove into self development, that’s when I dove into coaching mastermind therapy, hiring all the things. And I listened to every podcast, at the time they were more YouTube videos. I read every book and I basically changed myself. For probably about a three year period I was just so involved with the mindset and the confidence and the self development.

Christina Lecuyer:
And people started coming to me and asking me, hold on, how did you go from where you were to where you are now? And that’s really what I became so passionate about, was helping people go from feeling without a purpose, feeling a lack of confidence, feeling they don’t really know what they want in their lives, to living a life that they’re absolutely obsessed with.

Christina Lecuyer:
And I will tell you now, I am more obsessed with my life now than I have ever been in my life. And it’s because I have taken the tools and the strategies that I help other people with to fully live in their purpose. And so how did my business actually come about? It’s because it was just a very organic experience. And I just understood that the golf thing, even though it was a beautiful time in so many regards, it was definitely not in alignment with me. And being able to transition from where I was to where I am now, has been one of the hardest, greatest gifts of my life.

Joe:
Well, I’m really happy for the transition and you seem to be in a great place. And what’s interesting is that people don’t often understand or see what’s happening inside someone and the struggles that they’re having. They’re seeing you and your golf pro and you’re good looking and all of these good things, but internally you may be struggling with something.

Joe:
I don’t think that is dissimilar to a lot of people, whether they could be successful in business, that maybe they’re going through depression. You see this happen with actors and musicians and all of this stuff. But before we unpack even more of that, you said you were diving into a bunch of books and podcasts. Was there any aha moments or books or podcasts that you found that really got you thinking about this in a different way?

Christina Lecuyer:
Yeah. I think one of the best books that I could probably recommend to someone if they deal with perhaps not feeling good enough. And I think a lot of people have that, is The Gifts of Imperfection. It was one of the great books in the beginning. And then for me, I found my faith. I skipped over that, but for me, I hit my rock bottom and I didn’t come from any type of religious background whatsoever.

Christina Lecuyer:
But for me, when I was at my lowest low, I was like, okay, deuces, I can’t do this by myself. And that’s really when I came into my faith. I was just God universe source, whatever I needed, I didn’t know what that was at the time, I just needed something greater than myself. And so it was a combination of putting myself around really good humans.

Christina Lecuyer:
People I was like wait a minute, these people have sometimes less than me and they’re so fucking happy. How is that possible? What magic voodoo do you all have? And so being around certain people was really helpful for me investing in certain programs. I invested in masterminds, I hired coaches. Early on I went to seminars and all the things.

Christina Lecuyer:
But The Gift of Imperfection, I think was a really good book. I became obsessed with a Tony Robbins. And I YouTubed every Simon Sinek, every Chris Hall or Louis Hall. Back in the day, there was just so many people that had this growth mindset that I was just watching and listening to their stuff, and starting to go to their events and hire them and be around them.

Christina Lecuyer:
And then even personally, oftentimes when I help people, I say that there’s a time in life where it’s almost a very lonely spot when you’re changing your life, because you have to release who you used to be and who you’re becoming. And in that middle ground, there’s this lonely time, because you can no longer surround yourself with the people that you’re surrounding yourself with. And you haven’t yet found the people that are going to be the best version for you.

Christina Lecuyer:
Go to where those events are. Now, we live in the age of social media, follow all those people. That’s super helpful. Literally be a sponge. I remember on the golf course one time, and this was before I even dove into self development. But I remember I was at this golf tournament and I had the privilege of walking around with a lot of great athletes.

Christina Lecuyer:
And Paul Azinger said to me one time, he said “Be a sponge, be an absolute sponge. Be around the people that you want to be around. Be a sponge, take from them what you want and leave the rest.” And I think Arnold Palmer, maybe it was Jack, but one of those guys said “Learn all of the best things from the best people, but leave all the things that they’re not so good at.”

Christina Lecuyer:
Just take all of the best practices from the best people in the world. And I think that that’s what I was doing when I was listening to some podcasts in the beginning, but mostly YouTube videos and reading books. I probably have over a thousand books upstairs in my closet. I’ve actually showed that on my social media before, because in the beginning, I just needed to consume every ounce and put in all of the things that I needed to hear and replace all the bullshit basically.

Joe:
Yeah. Do you remember back in the day when you were digging through that and you started implementing some of the things you learned, any pivotal moment when you’re like this is working, or just learning something new and just feeling enlightening in a different way? Do you recall that?

Christina Lecuyer:
Yeah. I don’t know if there’s any specific stories. That’s a great question, by the way. I’ve never been asked that. Even probably getting over my eating disorder, getting to the place that I knew I had to put in a different habit. What was I going to replace that habit with? And what thoughts was I going to replace with the old habits? How do I stop myself from doing the same habit that I had done for so many years? How do you replace that with a new habit?

Christina Lecuyer:
And I think when I realized am like, oh, this isn’t as controlling in my life anymore, and having better communication with my husband. I’ve been with my husband for, God to do the math, it’s 18 years, but even before we were married, obviously. But just the communication with him and even those aha moments that I’ll be like, oh my God, this used to be an absolute train wreck.

Christina Lecuyer:
And look at us communicating, look at us not making that, just little things like that. Or saying no to things that I used to probably say yes to, to do to, feeling like I should. One thing that I help clients with all the time is quit shitting on yourself. Sometimes you have to just be so selfish in the beginning of that journey, because you’re just trying to change a lot of habits. I think just small little things, being damn that train wreck didn’t go as bad as the last train wreck.

Joe:
I heard that shit. I think Tony Robbins maybe. I don’t know who the first person was that said that, but I definitely heard that from Tony Robbins before don’t shit all over yourself. It’s a good one.

Christina Lecuyer:
It’s been said a thousand times. It’s obviously not my line, but it’s true though. It’s so true. Do you know how many people live their lives especially women shitting on themselves all day long? I should do this. I should do that. I should look at this. I should do this with the kids. It’s like, no, no, no. When you shit on yourself all day, you feel like shit.

Joe:
Now, you’re a confidence coach and you talk to clients on a daily basis. What do people get wrong aside from shitting on themselves? Is there another common theme?

Christina Lecuyer:
Yeah. Super interesting. Confidence and success coach, and I’ve worked with hundreds of people over the years now, and I’m feeling really blessed to be able to do that. But I think the common theme there, is the fact that most people just need to keep doing things over and over again, and believe that they have the purpose. And that no one else has it figured out.

Christina Lecuyer:
And that the number one way to have success is just knowing that if you do not quit, you will be successful. And quit fucking worrying about what every other Tom, Dick and Harry have to say about it. The most successful people in the world are the people that literally will never quit. My podcast is called Decide It’s Your Turn, the Decide It’s Your Turn podcast. And one of the best interviews, he’s a good friend of mine and it’s the only podcast he’s ever done. His name is Jamey Johnson. And if you listen to country music, he’s got one-

Joe:
Oh yeah, yes.

Christina Lecuyer:
… Yeah, so In Color. One of the number one songs of all time. He said something on my podcast that I think was just like… And my husband still quotes it to this day and I make fun of him. Today is actually his birthday funny enough. But anyway, all that-

Joe:
Happy birthday.

Christina Lecuyer:
Yeah, exactly. Happy birthday Jamey. Anyway, all that to be said is he said this quote, and I thought it was just super, super helpful. When he was in Nashville and he was just trying to make it, trying to make it, trying to make it. He said “When quitting is not an option, everything else is.” And I think that most people don’t have that mentality. And I think the most successful people in the world have that mentality, whether they understand that they have that mentality or not.

Christina Lecuyer:
I know for a fact the sky is blue, I will never not figure it out. I have so much belief and confidence, whether it’s in my business, my marriage, my relationships, my personal life, doesn’t mean that I’m not failing. It doesn’t mean that I’m not taking some bumps, doesn’t mean that I’m not going to… Everyone’s favorite word now, pivot.

Christina Lecuyer:
It doesn’t mean those things, but I know for a fucking fact, there is no chance in hell I’m going to fail because I will not quit. And once I can help my clients understand that, when they have that mentality, oh man, everything’s gravy. We can always figure everything out because quitting is not an option.

Joe:
Yeah. I think that’s so true. That’s how I built and sold businesses. My catalyst was becoming a father when I was 20 years old and getting a job. And I was like, okay, I cannot quit. It forced me into this whole new realm of my life. And before that, I wasn’t even thinking about those things. I was just an idiot kid. And then all of a sudden now, I’m forced to take care of a child. I’m like, okay, I’m going to make the best of this situation.

Joe:
That’s the other thing that I learned is whatever you’re doing try to be the best at it, or try and get out of it in a way or grow out of it. Not necessarily just get out of it, but grow out of it. In my case, I was working on the assembly line for five years, building cars like a human robot, putting myself through school, graduated Magna Cum Laude, because I read 15 seconds at a time for five years.

Joe:
It took me that long to graduate school and that was a stair step, that was a climb to the next level. And then the next level I had to tackle a whole different set of obstacles, and it’s just because I just didn’t want to quit. And I took the same principles and I was like, hey, I’m going to sign up for this dance competition and go back to it, as silly as that is. And I’m like I’m going to take the same principles. I know I’m not super talented, I can’t figure things out fast, but I know I’m not going to be outworked.

Christina Lecuyer:
Bingo.

Joe:
And I know that the only way for me to win this thing, is for me to outwork my competitors and I outworked most of them 10X. Because everyone’s taking 10 lessons, I’m taking 80, so I totally agree.

Christina Lecuyer:
It’s so interesting that you said that because I have said 100 times. The reason why I even played golf at the level that I did, which definitely wasn’t the highest level in the world, but it was because I outworked everyone. I have zero talent, even in this business. I think I’m pretty successful at my business.

Christina Lecuyer:
I work harder than most people. I’m willing to go when everyone else is stopping, I’m willing to double down. COVID, perfect example. COVID my business skyrocketed. You want to know why? Because I was doubling down when everyone else was watching Netflix.

Joe:
Yeah, that’s awesome. And it’s so funny you say that just another thing we have in common. When I was starting my first business which was a digital marketing agency, I was relearning to code and my wife would be next to me watching Bravo, Real Housewives, and I would have headphones on. And I was literally coding so I was next to her and she’s like, “Why are you always working?” I’m like, “This is what I do for fun. This is what you do for fun.” Right?

Joe:
But I’m not disjointed from her. Yes, we don’t have the same thing in common. Of course I learned a little bit about the Housewives through osmosis, but so that was a little plus. But at the same time it got through things. When people also just not to get on a tangent, multitasking too has a purpose at times. And the purpose is if you’re doing something mundane, or you can be doing something more productive, doing dishes as an example, put in your headphones, listen to something.

Joe:
If you are driving in a car, same thing. And that doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re not driving, or you’re not doing your household chores or your lists. You can do two things at once. Now that being said, when you’re in a conversation with someone, you should be focused on that conversation and be present. There’s a time and a place, but I just wanted to throw that tip out there, because I feel multitasking it’s this binary thing where it’s you should not do that, but there’s actually a place for it.

Christina Lecuyer:
I love it. I actually interviewed a guy named Jay Papasan, he’s the author of The One Thing book. And I remember reading that book so I’m a big StairMaster person. Literally, I changed my life on the StairMaster for sure. But I still literally, I was reading this book, I obviously wanted to read the book before I interviewed him. I was reading The One Thing book on the StairMaster, taking notes, and listening at the same time. And I was like, oh wow this goes against the whole entire fricking book.

Joe:
Yeah. I read that book too. I had my team read it a few years ago and you’re exactly right. But it’s again, what is-

Christina Lecuyer:
It’s both.

Joe:
Yeah, exactly. Walk me through the first thing that you do with a new client? Is there an analysis, a questionnaire? How do you get out of them one where their struggles are, but secondly, what they can start doing? Because I’m assuming each person has their own levels, or they’re at different periods in their life with regards to their confidence.

Christina Lecuyer:
Yeah, for sure. When someone books a discovery call with me, oftentimes they’ve followed me for a while or perhaps they just found me via Google, whatever it is. But I do have people answer a questionnaire and I always want to know where they’re at, what they believe that their biggest weakness is, and what they truly want. And I actually, one question I always ask people in the quick questionnaire is, how serious are you from a one to 10? Because I always want to know.

Christina Lecuyer:
And I think that that is really important because I think most people when they set up to make a change in their life, I want most people to say 10. I want most people to say I’m 11, really. I love the people who go one to 10 and they put in 12. I’m like, yeah, you’re my people because you’ve got, you know what I mean? Because you’ve got to want it.

Christina Lecuyer:
But I think most people are at the point where they know that they want something, but they just don’t know how to get over that. Business and mindset are so key. I say confidence and success, but it really has to do with mindset. I don’t care. I have so many clients from so many diverse backgrounds. Not everyone is here for business, but out of the business people, I have people who make $30,000 a year and I have people who are executive VPs of billion dollar companies.

Christina Lecuyer:
I have across the board men and women. But I think at the point in time where business and mindset come together, is because when you’re trying to get to the next level, whether it’s in your relationship, whether it’s in your business, whatever it is, the number one determining factor is how fast are you going to get over the hurdle? How fast are you going to get over that mindset block? How fast are you going to go, okay, how do I find a way around this? How do I make this not about me? How do I step into this with the confidence that no matter what, I’m not going to quit?

Christina Lecuyer:
And so I think most people come to me with the belief that they want something different and they just are not confident enough in themselves, that they are the person to do it. And once we get past that, every single one of us are exactly the same, and that the people who have had the success are the people who are just like figure out a way. And don’t worry about what other people say and know and trust and trust and trust and trust, that you 100% can do it.

Christina Lecuyer:
I’m a big faith person, so I believe every single person was put on this planet with a purpose. And that purpose can be to be a stay at home mom or to fly to the moon, whatever it is. But stepping into your purpose, I believe is a responsibility. And I don’t think enough people use that as knowing that it’s a responsibility. I think once you realize that you have a purpose and that is your responsibility, then you got to step up and freaking do it. Treat it like a responsibility, not like, well or maybe.

Joe:
No, that makes sense. You’ve had clients, I’m sure you’ve had some for a long period of time. What are some of the more advanced things? Someone gets the basics of confidence, they’re feeling good, they’re in the right mindset, what comes next after that?

Christina Lecuyer:
Just keep taking the action, right? One thing that you asked was what book and what podcast and all the things. I think where a person really has a lot of growth, is when a person goes from consuming to action.

Joe:
Fist bump for that one. I talk about that a lot too. It’s you can get so overwhelmed with all the content, even this podcast. Every episode I’m given actionable content. After a while, you know what to do. You need to start putting things into action and that’s going to take time and hard work. But it’s not dissimilar to someone that is trying to… You can’t read every fitness book in the world and be fed. You actually have to do the work. It’s the same thing.

Christina Lecuyer:
Totally. The three things that I say in my business are decision, faith, and action. In my personal opinion, obviously opinions are like assholes everyone has one. But decision, faith and action. Those are the three things that will change your life. If you’re missing one, it’s going to be real hard to have the success. You have to make fast decisions. You have to decide, you have to go all in.

Christina Lecuyer:
Faith, you have to know it’s happening for you. You have to know that there’s a greater purpose. You have to know that it is for you. You have to know that even the biggest roadblock ever is the thing that you need in this point. And when you believe that, it makes things a lot easier. And then action. You can’t just decide and have faith and sit on your ass. You got to take some action.

Joe:
It is lonely too.

Christina Lecuyer:
Totally.

Joe:
And it’s supposed to be. I think that the issue now a little bit is social media, it gives instant gratification on things. Right?

Christina Lecuyer:
Amen.

Joe:
I do this too. I’ll post something, like I did a big run and I posted it and it’s like, get a bunch of like go… That’s awesome, you know what I mean? And you’re like oh yeah, that just fuels you. It creates these endorphins to get you excited. And you want more of that. Because of that instant gratification, now that gets applied to everyday life. And the reality is everyday life there is not instant gratification.

Christina Lecuyer:
Yeah, bingo. You listen to a podcast, you read a book, you and I we’re jamming. Someone’s listening to this podcast right now and they’re like, “Oh my God be Christina and Joe, they’re so great, blah, blah, blah.” And they get so jammed up. And then they turn off the podcast and they stop doing the fucking thing. You and I we’re going to get off this podcast and we’re going to do the thing. That’s the reason why you have this success.

Christina Lecuyer:
You can’t look at someone else’s Instagram. You can’t look at someone else’s podcast. You can’t read someone else’s book. There’s a season for that. But you also then have to implement these changes. You have to implement a decision, you have to implement some faith. You have to implement taking a small action every single day. Whether that was you reading that book for school for 15 seconds a day.

Christina Lecuyer:
Whether that’s a gratitude practice, whether that’s making sure that you jump on the StairMaster every day. Whatever the hell it is, you’re not going to decision and faith losing 15 pounds, or getting the business, or playing in the event, or dancing with the stars. You’ve got to have a combo of the three.

Joe:
That’s right on. And another point I was going to bring up too and I don’t know if you’ve seen this and I’m sure there was a pivotal moment in your mind when this happened. But when I was starting the digital marketing company, this was 2010-ish. What I noticed is there’s a lot of so-called experts. And then in my mind, I was like, how are these people experts?

Joe:
I would dig in a little bit more. And I was like, wow my background is actually deeper than these experts. How are they an expert? And the reality is there’s not this professional services delineation that you have today that someone’s going to give you a PhD in confidence coaching. And I think there’s a scared factor between someone who really has deep knowledge on something and them not having the confidence enough to call themselves an expert, or to at least feel like they have as much knowledge as the so-called experts.

Joe:
I guess my point in that is do not let that be an impede your growth, because I can tell you that there’s a lot of so-called experts out there and they’re not experts. And then there are experts and they’re not better or worse than you. It’s a matter of just you having the faith in yourself and don’t let that word deter you at all. Let it actually prop you up.

Christina Lecuyer:
I love that so much. I was actually having this exact conversation with one of my… I call them my old men money guys. I play golf once a week with my old men money crew. They’re all retired, but we play for good money and all the things. And we were actually having a conversation, and this gentleman is worth more money than you can possibly imagine.

Christina Lecuyer:
And I told him one day I said, I think… And this is the truth. And I want everyone to think about this. Think about some person who’s really successful. And you’ve looked at them before and thought, God, I have got to be smarter than them. There’s no way that dumbass is more successful than I am. This guy I’m referring to is definitely not a dumbass, but his confidence and his cockiness, even though it’s probably got him in trouble numerous times. And I will say the same thing about myself, is oftentimes what creates the success.

Christina Lecuyer:
And there is dumbasses in the world out there that you know whoever’s listening to this, there is someone doing something that you want to do that you’re probably much better at, much better at, but they have the confidence and taken the action to get where you want to be. And that’s really the only thing that’s stopping you.

Christina Lecuyer:
There is a ton of fucking social media people out there right now, that literally don’t have a pot to piss in, and aren’t making a dollar in their business, but they act like they are. And then there’s people that you’re like, oh my gosh, you actually do what? I actually had a woman recently signed up for me and she’s got very few followers, but little confidence, but she’s extremely seven figure business. And I’m like, oh my God, if you stepped into your confidence, we could get you to eight figures. You know what I mean?

Christina Lecuyer:
Don’t think that someone is better than you. Step into the confidence and know that is the determining factor in my opinion. Obviously do the research. You can’t just jump on the internet and be confident and not have some backing, but step into your greatness. And when you step into your greatness, my God, then the sky’s the limit.

Joe:
That is so funny you said that, because there are a ton of people and you’re like how did that person make money? What? And it’s because they were oblivious to their faults and all of a sudden because they’re oblivious, they’re confident. And it’s like be oblivious. Don’t overthink it. And a lot of times when we get into trouble, we overthink things.

Joe:
And going back to the diet example, great example, that’s a great analogy is you can overthink every little ingredient, but the bottom line is get 90% of it, 80% of it right and you’re going to have a great outcome.

Christina Lecuyer:
Mm-hmm (affirmative). I love it.

Joe:
You recently posted something about Alice Cooper and something that you learned from him on Facebook I believe.

Christina Lecuyer:
I did? Oh my God, I haven’t used Facebook in 15 years so either you’re-

Joe:
Maybe it was Instagram, I’m not sure but-

Christina Lecuyer:
About Alice Cooper, about the golf shoot?

Joe:
A life lesson you learned from Alice Cooper.

Christina Lecuyer:
Oh, okay, yeah. The situation happened 15 years ago. That’s the reason why I’m like [inaudible 00:51:47]. But no, I think what I was referring to, I posted that a long time ago, but it was I remember playing golf with him. He was one of the kindest people ever. And after our round, I was formerly with Callaway years and years ago. And the Callaway rep Alice Cooper, myself, and a couple other guys were playing.

Christina Lecuyer:
And the Callaway rep said to him, he’s like “Man, I just love your shoes.” And they were expensive ass leather Italian shoes. And Alice Cooper literally took those shoes off his feet and gave them to the Callaway rep and said, “Oh, here they’re yours.” And in that moment, I remember just thinking, oh my gosh, that is just something I want to be remembered for in life.

Christina Lecuyer:
I will never forget that situation. I just thought how cool is that, that an extremely successful person like that was just like here, here’s my shoes, no big deal. After I turned professional, I was sponsored by Adidas and I probably gave away 10 pairs of shoes easily to young girls who said, “Hey, I love your shoes.” And to me, I was getting them for free at the time, but I always gave those shoes away.

Christina Lecuyer:
And I always thought to myself, I want to always be remembered as a person who used their success for a good reason and used their notoriety or whatever it is. And I still to this day think that that’s one of the greatest qualities. To me, it’s just definitely like a love language when I see people being really good humans.

Christina Lecuyer:
And I am much less concerned about what you’ve done in life and much more concerned of who you are and where your heart is. And I don’t know why I posted it that day, but yeah, it was such a cool experience. From that moment on, I was like, I’m going to be that person. It was such bad ass.

Joe:
That’s a great story. I know we have to wrap up in a second because you have a call, but how can people find out more about you, Christina?

Christina Lecuyer:
I hang out mostly on Instagram. Definitely not on Facebook, but @bechristina, B-E-C-H-R-I-S-T-I-N-A because I encourage every single person to be themselves. And I think if every single person was more authentically themselves, more being instead of doing the world would be a much better place. My handle used to be @golfchristina and a lot of my identity came from golfing.

Christina Lecuyer:
And now, I’m still being Christina when I’m on the golf course, when I’m coach Christina, when I’m wife Christina, when I’m Christina sitting on my ass. And I think that a lot of my messages is being authentically yourself, because that’s exactly when you’re going to have the most success and the most confidence and the highest vibration. So I’m @bechristina on social media, on all platforms. You know my podcast, you can come find me there, the Decide It’s Your Turn podcast, for everyone who’s ready to decide it’s their turn.

Joe:
And what about your website? Because you have a nice website as well.

Christina Lecuyer:
I do have a website, but you can’t spell my last name. My name is Christina Lecuyer, but my last name is spelled L-E-C-U-Y-E-R. But if you come find me either on social media or Google, golf Christina, or be Christina, it should pop up.

Joe:
Awesome. Hey, it was truly a pleasure to talk with you today, Christina. I wish you the best of luck. You’re crushing it.

Christina Lecuyer:
Thanks Joe.

Joe:
Hopefully I’ll see you on the golf course one of these days. If you’re ever out in Tahoe, let me know.

Christina Lecuyer:
Edgewood then. One of my best scores in life is at Edgewood, 66.

Joe:
Oh, that’s amazing. I’m in the North Lake, but would love to host you here. Actually you can’t see it right now, but I’m sitting on a golf course.

Christina Lecuyer:
I actually saw a golf cart drive by.

Joe:
Oh, you did? Okay. The sun’s out but North Star Mountain is behind me so the sun’s shining out you can’t see too much, but you’re more than welcome, but good luck with everything. Thank you so much for the conversation. Keep crushing it.

Christina Lecuyer:
Thank you. You as well. Thanks so much for having me. I appreciate it, Joe.

Joe:
What an incredible conversation. Huge thanks to my guest Christina Lecuyer, her insights on confidence and taking your life to the next level are spot on. My biggest takeaway from today is something I believed my entire career. Don’t look at what the person or company next to you is doing. Don’t compare yourself to that social media influencer, or anyone else for that matter. They aren’t you.

Joe:
You are here for a purpose that is all your own. If you don’t know what that is yet, that’s okay. Keep doing the work to dig deep and find it. If you know what it is, great. Have the confidence to keep going. And remember there’s no one goal. There is no benchmark of success because you, me, we are not almost there.

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